BREAKDOWN

Stranded.
It's alright.

Except for when the roadside assistance guy pulled up behind my car... he was kinda sketch.
Now I'm just chill-axin' at mile marker 65.3 on 95 N waiting for my uncle to come help.

I guess it's a good thing I brought my lunch today. Traffic on 95 S looks a little crummy right now, I might be here for a while waiting.

The roadside assistance guy is still in his truck behind my car, maybe he is hanging out until my uncle comes. Or maybe he is waiting for one of the idiots exceeding the speed limit to come charging into my car. That's definitely not a pleasant scenario, but a scenario none-the-less.

So now here I sit, listening to 102.7 JackFM. Was it a coincidence that "Breakdown" was on when I brokedown? How about the fact that "Kyrptonite" is playing, and I am waiting for a rescue; not from Superman, but from my uncle... he's kinda like Superman, only shorter, and without the spandex bodysuit. Aww shit, the radio is play "Angels" now, I'm totally done for.

 Not Bueno.

RANDOM MENTAL IMAGE...

Made me chuckle.
It's okay if you don't understand.

DO YOU HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM? OR DO YOU JUST THINK I'M SEXY?

Did you know that I had a guy tell me that he would just buy pints of alcohol as an excuse to come into the liquor store to see me?

Yeah... true story.

Makes me wonder if I should be happier that I'm helping the economy/my boss's overall revenue, or sadder that I'm ultimately helping/adding one more person to the long list of alcoholics involved the Criminal Justice system  (i.e. the field of my hearts chosen profession).

Should I be flattered or concerned.
Just wondering.

:/

EASTER SUNDAY 2011 CHUCK STYLE

What did you do today?
Did you munch on some ham?
Go to church?
Hunt for Easter eggs?
Or was today just another Sunday-Funday for you?

Today was a little bit different for me.

This Easter Sunday 2011, I shoveled shit.

No, really.

I did.

And honestly it wasn't all that bad.

Because I spent the entire time laughing my ass off

And hanging out with the sister-cousin.

Happy Easter Everyone!

Try and top this next year...

;)

p.s. I move to the city in 7 days...

after posting this on twitter,

my friend D  had this to say:

I think he's right.

Get ready Brawl-timore, 

HERE I COME!!!

WHAT I'M TUNING INTO: "BOW CHICKA WOW WOW"

Yes...
Seriously...
I'm listening to this.

And don't you know that I'm singing along like a GOOBER when this comes on the radio.

Bow Chicka Wow Wow

Mike Posner feat. Lil Wayne

INSIDE JOKE

So he says, mid-conversation:

And well you know what I did.

LAUGHED MY ASS OFF.

We have this funny joke between us: 

Due to our love of rugby,

and the shared tallness,

if we just happened to procreate...

The likelihood that said conceived baby would

BURST 

out of my stomach upon delivery

IS HIGHLY LIKELY!

Kinda like that scene from Alien, or so MOBD says...

I don't like that Alien movie, or any of its pre-or-sequels, 

So I'm not going to think of it that way.

Nope.

No, Siree...

And can I just add

"OUCH"

for that matter. 

To read more about the ever popular saga...

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for the full story

#MailOrderBabyDaddy #MOBD

DAWSON, NO MORE

I have an all new LOVE for @vanderjames after this & the Ke$ha video (seriously, watch it down below... SO effing funny).

p.s. I was definitely hearting Mr. JVDB when he was on NBC's Mercy... was very sad when it was cancelled.

 

"I think I broke my face."

Miss James van Diva Beek

And just to add to the hilarity/awesomeness:

"Sex Nugget!!!" & "WWGD: What Would Gaga Do?"

Johnny Weir

The Ke$ha video, featuring the new Sexiness that is James van der Beek!

 

 Don't forget to:

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GEOGRAPHY LESSON

#MailOrderBabyDaddy [#MOBD] lives up North... more North than my Maryland North.
#MOBD lives all the way up North in Massachusetts to be exact.
I personally find that to be all kinds of crap-tastic
considering the amount of fun that I'm having talking to him, and blogging/tweeting about the whole thing.
You know you're getting a kick out of it too!
Fate as a cruel way of messing with me, doncha think!?
What a bitch!
Fate's a female if you didn't already know.
She could also be an asshole, but I like to think of her as a woman scorned just an overall bitch.

Back to the point:

Maryland.

Massachusetts.

Not neighboring states.

Not by a long shot.

But thanks to my favorite place on the internet, Google,
and it's affiliate Google Maps,
the little fantasy/fun that I'm having right now can be played out in my head.

Did you know from
Maryland to Massachusetts: 

Driving takes about 8 hours,

a Train, with all of the stopping, would take 9 to 11 hours,

Walking, and wearing a very comfortable pair of shoes,
would take roughly 5 days and 8 hours,

a Bicycle, with out without training wheels, only 1 to 2 days,

and a Plane, the ideal quickie option, just under 1 hour (on a good airline).


Oh the options!
And the fun.
I love new things.
Especially when it involves
tall,
sexy,
rugby playing men
who drink their OJ with pulp
and like their steaks cooked (or not so cooked) rare.

DAMN YOU GEOGRAPHY!

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for the full story

#MailOrderBabyDaddy #MOBD

"DO YOU LIKE ORANGE JUICE?"

At first I thought he was trying to tell me another cheesy pickup line, instead he ended up making me giggle with laughter and yell out loud: "Yaaay!, you too!? Hahah No way!"

(No, really, I said that. Then my customers all turned around in the store and looked at me like I was bat shit crazy).

How do you drink your OJ?

I drink mine with PULP.

I heart pulp in my OJ.

Sometimes I like it EXTRA Pulpy... :)

OJ sans pulp should be a sin!
Seriously, think about it.
If you make fresh squeezed OJ yourself, there is going to be pulp in your juice.
If you buy if from the store, without pulp, that means someone has tampered with your OJ to remove the pulp from it, more so than they have already needed to tamper with your juice to make it in the first place.

I speak the truth.

Back to the story...
I told him my answer/reasoning, and much to my approval and pleasure, he agreed.
He likes pulpy oj too...
(lol it sounds so dirty)

Hollar!

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for the full story

#MailOrderBabyDaddy #MOBD

JUST ONE OF THE MANY REASONS WHY I HEART ALL THINGS RUGBY...

A little bit of Rugby 411:

One of the many, and there are many, mottos for my rugby team
(and for many female rugby teams for that matter) just happens to be:
"Bruises are Sexy"
If you don't believe me, I've got a shirt that says so.

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for the full story:

#MailOrderBabyDaddy #MOBD

JUST A LITTLE PICK ME UP

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#MailOrderBabyDaddy #MOBD

WHAT A NICE RUGGER

A little bit of Rugby 411:

RUGGER (n): an individual who plays, or just over all kicks ass while playing, rugby.

RUGBY SOCIAL (n): term for a party involving a shitton of ruggers, alcohol and singing following a rugby match. 

This event typically takes place on a Saturday (since Saturday is a Rugby Day). 

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for the full story

#MailOrderBabyDaddy #MOBD

PIES = LOVE

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#MailOrderBabyDaddy #MOBD

TRUE STORY/TWEET

LOL

Text Messages Make ME CHUCKLE!!!

especially texts that I receive in the middle of class

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I THINK IM BEING ROMANCED

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for the full story

#MailOrderBabyDaddy #MOBD

ST. PATTYS DAY STORY (continued)

Yeah, seriously. 
The night went there.



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CHUCK LOVES...

Yet one more thing that makes me happy in all the craziness that I am currently surrounded by...

My favorite sister-cousin.

To sum up a VERY long history/story:

 I live with my Aunt and Uncle, and have off and on (due to school and moving to GA) for the past 9 years. My sister-cousin and I call one another "sister-cousins" because over those 9 years we have been more like sisters than actual cousins. The past 2-3 years have been VERY good to the relationship that my sister-cousin and I have. Mostly because she now can fit into my clothing and shoes (much to my dismay--for the most part) and because she has hit the big H.S.--HIGH SCHOOL, and boys and clothes are her primary focus!

Just as it should be for a 14year old :)

As I said, she and I are pretty good now. We still have our bad days, but now they usually tend to be more like bad hours versus days, and then we make up because she wants to wear my shoes, boots, pants, tops, dresses, accessories, or wants to permanently possess one of the previously mentioned items.

Regardless of how long I continue to live in the place that I have always called my HOME (my Aunt/Uncle's house) (because I really want to get my own place--with friends--in the BIG CITY!), I know that my dear sister-cousin and I will continue to be close.

Especially so, since I know how much she digs my style.

Let me just gush about one more thing

while I'm at it:

I thought I was pretty funny... I have had my fair share of awesome crack ups (have you read my twitter lately?). Come on, my nickname on my rugby team is CHUCKLES for cryin' out loud...

My friggin' sister-cousin says the CRAZIEST SHIT sometimes. 

On a daily basis she cracks me up!

Seriously, when we're not driving one another crazy,

we are laughing our butts off.

I Love You Bratley!

You're the best Sister-Cousin EVER!!!

COOTD SEX VIBES

According to friends/customers of the liquor store...
My outfit/hair combo is giving off 'sex vibes'.

Apparently the messy hair and over-sized shirt are screaming "just been did" in an unskankified (yes, that is a word) way.
Very unintentional, the "just been mused" look, but compliments, although not entirely the kind I want, are much appreciated.


I'm going to get back to shoving my nose to the grindstone, a.k.a. running the liquor store, while not doing my home work or something else that is productive to my life (or lack thereof) outside work.

TWEETY

 

Sometimes working at the liquor store pays off ;)

Especially when I feel pretty haggard from a long ass week of my notjob, school, work and play.

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GIRL TALK

I just peed a little!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Thanks Michelle!

**I have a pair of boots (and a perfect green peacoat) that would be fitting of a Link/Zelda Halloween costume--or so my ex would tell me every time I wore my boots.

LOL maybe this year!?