GOING TO THE CHAPEL

On Saturday I went to the chapel...
and I DID NOT GET MARRIED,
but this did happen:

Oh yeah...

#FML

The only picture proof I was able to find.

Blurry and far away, and okay by me.

Can I also mention that the bride is not a big fan of yours truly...

The irony of her boquet and her garter and I meeting was NOT lost on me.

LAUGHED my ass off ALL NIGHT LONG!

SATURDAY = DATE NIGHT (the recap/revelation) PART III

As I sit and half watch and roll my eyes at the #Bachelorette and LAUGHoutFUCKINGloud at Jen Friel's amaZAzing weekend with her CanadianConquest (aka the International Badass), I find myself going over the events of this weekend.

The weekend was pretty great on many levels. Not on the levels that all of you might think, but more so in that this weekend gave me a glimpse... nah, more so of a sucker punch in the face of what I want and what I don't want right now.

I F.I.N.A.L.L.Y met #MOBD after months of chatting, texting, phone calls, and 1 amusing Skype session. He surprised me with a visit to the store on Friday, and then I surprised myself and him with a visit to Max's on Broadway where I recommended he and his cousin go.

Max's = AMAZING.

If you like, LOVE, appreciate anything BEER, you MUST GET YOUR ASS to Max's the next time you stop by #Brawltimore. The brew selection at Max's is OFF the Wall... both literally and figuratively.

There are taps EVERYWHERE and the beer list MENU is fucking insane!

Seriously, you should go!

While at Max's #MOBD and I chatted over Boddingtons, for the first time ever (excluding his visit to the liquor store)... FACEtoFACE I found that I was a little in awe. He was and is, most definitely, much better looking in person.

On a scale of 1 to AshleyLIKEY...

He rated with an AshleyLikey!

Especially considering I have only seen photos and had 1 Skype chat with him.

I stayed until Last Call, then #MOBD and his cousin walked my to my car (Lola, she was a Show Girl). The cousin hailed them a cab, and left #MOBD and Me on opposite sides of the blue lady. With the Show Girl in between us the thought of kissing him was once again in my head... Oh did I not mention that I was thinking about it in the bar. Well I was. What sensible girl who has been talking to a guy who lives too-fucking-far-away wouldn't think of kissing. Because I like kissing, and I like to think about it and well I was thinking about it. And thinking. And thinking. And apparently #MOBD was too, because when he went in for the kill my brain went in for the STOP SIGN. And the damn sensible bitch, the most definitely sober girl in my head, said NopeNONOnopeNahHowAboutWeDoThisTomorrowNightWhenYou'reBothinthesameStateofMind.

And I stopped him and pushed him toward the cab.

Seriously.

I did that.

Saturday morning rolls around.

I played rugby. 

The team came in 2nd!!!!!

I received a minor concussion (self diagnosed of course... I'm a pro a diagnosing them now... I get them so often--thanks Rugby), and a super sexy mild sunburn on the right side of my face, oh yeah and a few super sexy bruises. 

Saturday night arrives. 

I shower and get sexy-fied ready, and wait for #MOBD's arrival.

When I try to vacate the house to go pick him up the roommates step in and DEMAND that he come to the house for the 3rd Inquisition (or 4th? Wait, how many were there?! I shamefully didn't pay attention during that high school History lesson) aka they wanted to see his ass. Apparently I'd been talking him up... and blogging about him... and tweeting... and just not shutting up.

I convinced (with little convincing actually necessary) #MOBD to walk to my house where I told him my roommates were going to grill his ass like a high school prom date. He bravely accepted the challenge and held his head up high as he entered the house... looking Oh-So-Good-Looking (and "OMGhe'sSoCUTEEEEEE"--according to the roommates AND one of their friends who stopped by).

After all of 1 minute and probably 39 seconds of harassment and a "You have to bring Ashley home by 9:30PM" from Roommate M, I managed to safely remove #MOBD from their high-heel-party-dress-wearing clutches. We skeedaddled out of there and hit the road on our way to Dave & Busters. 

Dinner was good. Conversation was great. Games and Kicking ass (which I did of course) were FUN.

We went back to the house, made cookies, conversated some more and that was it.

He stayed over, but nothing happened.

Sorry to burst the bubble.

However... I AM not upset by the lack of events on Saturday night.

After #MOBD left (and right before I passed out until 3PM--thanks concussion) I had a chat with Roommate M.

Really the chat was more like a realization.

I finally figured it out.

Unfortunately it took a visit from an

ABSOLUTELY AMAZING GUY

for me to figure what the it out is:

I don't want to be in a relationship. It's not that I'm not ready, but it's not what I want for myself and for my life right now. I am FINALLY 100% happy with being single and with the luxury that comes with single-hood. #MOBD and I didn't have a serious heart-to-heart, hell, we didn't even get into crazy serious talk, or anything that breached the walls of feelings or relationships or any of that other mushy-mushy-good stuff. But after he left I knew what I wanted. Finally.

I now know that I just want ME.

  :)

Is that weird? 

I just can't see myself giving any time or serious dedication to a relationship, or to what it takes to make a successful relationship. I want to move forward with my life and make decisions based my things that matter to me right now. Not on matters of the heart, or on other lovey-dovey matters that cloud my brain. I have too many plans for myself and for the life that I want to lead, live, and enjoy. And right now... right now there isn't room in my life for serious.

I'm all for dating and having a good time whenever I see fit,

but I,

Ashley Crowl,

also known as Chuck of the blog Refreshed,

DO NOT WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

right now.

I don't know what this means for #MOBD and I or what it means for any of the other dudes in my life currently, or the ones who I don't even know about yet. I'm not too worried though. Pre this 'Revalation' of sorts I would have been, but right now #ImGooD.

Seriously.

Back to the date... If I didn't make this clear:

I had an AMAZING time with #MOBD this weekend.

I am SO glad that I got to meet him (finally!) and that we both had such a great time.

I believe a direct quote from him was "Wicked Awesome!"

Translation from Boston talk to Brawl-timore speak... Good time.

I heard he got grilled by his family when he got back to Boston. The grilling I received from my boss (his uncle) wasn't too bad...

Here's to hoping he escaped unscathed.

And here's to hoping that this new revelation of mine further leads me in the right direction. 

Right where I want to be.

Happy.

Me.

SATURDAY = DATE NIGHT (now that I've had a preview) PART II

Well, Well, Well.

A certain someone...

::cough:: ::cough::

#MOBD

::cough:: ::cough::

who has been a recent person of discussion on there here blog o mine, especially during a (long ass) post last night.

You know.

Well. #MOBD, of Massachusetts, showed up at my liquor store this evening, the one located in MARYLAND!

If you haven't gotten the picture now, #MOBD is in town, and he and I have a date on Saturday night (post my rugby tournament of course), at a location that I have chosen, but have yet to reveal to him. But since I like all of you lovely people I'll share with you... I'm going to take him to Dave & Busters for a little lot of fun and food, where I fully plan on KICKING ASS at all of the games there.

#MOBD and I have discovered that we each have a competitive streak within us. Tomorrow night might be good or it might be bad depending on who kicks who's ass.

But let me take the excitement about ass kicking down a notch, and get to the serious business of my nervous system.

iamsofuckingnervous

Tomorrow night has a little less pressure on it because we officially "met" tonight, but tomorrow night is the real deal.

What if we have nothing to talk about?!

What if conversation just drags on?

What if he decides, eh, this is lame?

What if we hit it off?

What if our chemistry is even better than it is now!?

What if, what if, what if?  

Technically none of these questions should matter. I'm not trying to have a boyfriend right now. I don't need one, nor do I have the time for one--remember, I barely have time for myself, let alone someone else, especially someone else who lives in fucking Massachusetts.

Damn you Geography!

 DamnDOUBLEDamn

Damn you mutual appreciation for Rugby!

I'm also concerned about what to wear tomorrow, but that is a whole other story/blog post...

Fuck.

Follow Me on Twitter

for the full story

#MailOrderBabyDaddy #MOBD

Did I ever mention...

Good thing I have an ALL DAY rugby tournament tomorrow.

Expect a Part III... 

Probably on Sunday, post Date Night ;)

SATURDAY = DATE NIGHT (a prep course) PART I

WTF am I going to wear on Saturday!?

If you didn't already know what is going on this Saturday, then you haven't been paying attention to my tweets, and you and I are officially not friends anymore...

Okay, that was a little bit harsh.
We can still be friends, and you can still stalk my blog, and not comment on my posts, but you still should follow me on twitter...

Just saying.

It's @AshleyCrowl

I make it REALLY easy for you ----> SIDBAR:

Anywho... back to the story:


#MOBD is coming to visit. Seriously. He is flying into Maryland on Friday, we're going on a date on Saturday night, and he then flies back to Boston on Sunday. He has family and friends in my great home state, so in addition to visiting me, he'll be visiting them as well.

I'd like to be completely honest right now, even more so than I usually am on this lil 'ole blog of mine...

iamsofuckingnervous

right now

and for this weekend.

You cannot understand.

I am nervous excited about seeing him, and nervous scared out of my wits about seeing him.

We have been talking for months now. This whole situation is a little crazy, and a LOT out of my comfort zone.

He's my bosses nephew (via the liquor store). We have known about one another, through my boss, over the course of the four-ish years that I've worked at the store. Each time #MOBD is in town, I have just left town, or gone off to work somewhere else, or am doing something else.

I moved back to MD this January, got a phone call from the boss man asking me to work and telling me that his nephew would be in town sometime in the spring for a rugby tourney, and that I was going to go with my bosses wife. I laughed this off.

A few months go by, I get bored at the store, watch the Bachelor, meet #MNG [Mr.NiceGuy] (who is now #NMNG [NotMr.NiceGuy] -- Thanks Serenity&Style for the updated name for him), go out of a handful of dates/mingle with him, then out of the blue get a phone call from a Massachusetts number on the store phone. I had an inkling as to who it could be, but NEVERinaMILLIONyears did I really think that this dude who I've never met, who just happens to play rugby and be the nephew of my boss, and be pretty decent looking, and SUPPOSEDLY taller than me, would call my liquor store out of the fucking blue.

During that first (and pretty random phone call) #MOBD proceeded to crack me the hell up, drop one cheesy ass pickup line, and proposed making rugby playing babies with me one day. Normal first time conversation with someone you've NEVER MET or SPOKEN TO before... right?!

Seriously.

I think we were on the phone for close to an hour. I was still at work, helping customers, doing the liquor selling thang... you know how I roll--Like a G6 ;)

Phone calls #2 and #3 were just about the same, maybe a little bit longer, and just as random and out of the blue as phone call #1.

When I finally decided to grab the conversation/situation by the balls, so to speak, I gave him my cell number. And we texted. Boy-oh-boy did we text. Like all the fucking time. Stupid shit too. Random shit. Questions. Answers. Laughing (via texting).

You know.

The things you do when someone lives in fucking Massachusetts. 

So, we talked on the phone, and sent texts, and Facebook chatted (because by then I had decided that it wasn't CREEPERish of me to add him on my Facebook), and then Saturday (post our mutual rugby games) phone calls became the routine, and texting whenever the hell I felt like it (because I'm single) was fine and fun!

We even Skyped... and that was HUGE! (Hugely out of my comfort zone). It was fun, and there was lots of laughter, not too much silence, but when there was silence it wasn't because of there not being anything to say or because the situation was awkward. It was more so because we'd NEVER seen each other face to face, and we were both cheesing out wayyyyy too much for allowable conversation.

#MOBD and I have discussed the fact that we'd like to meet, but I'm at that point in my life and my relationship life/outlook where I can't give all of myself that I've given in the past. I give and I give, and I drop everything to put myself and my needs above what I need and what I want and end up doing everything for someone else. The worse part is that doing all of that doesn't bother me. I like doing things for others. I like making the effort, but after the last three failed serious relationships (the 3yrCollegeBreakDown [but we're on good terms now], the TooSoonTooFastTooMuch with Mr.A, and the SouthernLover) I've decided that enough is ENOUGH. It is time for the Effort Card to be passed on to someone else. I can't do it anymore. I can't give my all and get a bigFATzero in return.

So when #MOBD talked about visiting, both him here and me there, I always responded "I'll see it when I believe it."

Well now, I think I'm going to be seeing it...

**HIM**

 ... #MOBD in the flesh. 

This SATURDAY!

I haave a feeling, and it's just a brief inkling, that he might sneak by the store on Friday night... I'm not sure, but a random visit isn't being ruled out.

Dammit! Now I have to plan 2 damn outfits!!!!

But I do know what I won't be wearing:

It's hot, I know, but NOT really the look I'm going for.

Part II tomorrow.

More of my apprehension and nerves...

AKA: ME OVER THINKING the situation and stressing the hell out tomorrow night.

Follow Me on Twitter

for the full story

#MailOrderBabyDaddy #MOBD

and Clicky the labels throughout, above, and below for the COMPLETE #MOBD post history...
both on da blog and muh twitter.

COOTD FISH DIG MY STYLE

This was a pretty crazy weekend.

Very long days and nights, that actually didn't end up ending until 4AM the next morning (on both Saturday/Sunday and Sunday/Monday)--my body was definitely making me pay for it this morning.
If you didn't catch my tweets this morn, you missed out on a few lack of sleep doozies. I'm pretty sure I was confusing caffeine with crack, and I know I was very close to trading my first born child for a hit of something strong that would wake my tired ass up. Basically any remedy that made me feel less like DEATH would have been awesome.

But enough about my less than stellar morning...
Let's get to the goods: The weekend deets!

SATURDAY night I hung out with my neighbor and some of his friends. We went to a Beef&Beer for a few hours then headed to my friend Grants for his family's annual Meadow Party.
Basically we were in a frozen tundra (aka a meadow) with lots of delicious food (bear, deer, pork, soups, etc.) and lots of alcohol. Oh an a bonfire.

I learned the hard way a few years ago to AVOID THE FRUIT and dress warm... hence the outfit:

 

 One does not need to get fancy for a meadow party.

I wore my warmest hoodie, my warmest and tightest jeans (I find, the tighter, the warmer), and the thickest pair of wool socks I could find under my Target boots. Oh, and a pair of elbow length gloves which came in handy :)

SUNDAY night my uncle made an absolutely delicious Valentine's (eve) Day dinner for my Aunt, my cousin, myself and his mother.

Scallops wrapped in bacon, baby lobster tails, and fresh steamed veggies (not pictured)... YUM YUM YUM!

Afterward I headed into Baltimore to meet up with MNG at the National Aquarium--UBalt was hosting an annual night at the aquarium, and I made the suggestion, and much to my approval and surprise, MNG was very happy to go with me. 

I had a little extra time on my hands before driving into the city so I decided to curl my hair...

 

I had a typical girl moment and couldn't find anything to wear.

At that point decided that my robe was my new bff, and that my hair was especially cracked out and curly...

I toned the curls down a bit and finally decided on an outfit. 

I stuck my my normal thought process for Sunday night's outfit... something that went with my boots

(but I wore my knee high Nine Wests instead of my Target boots--since I managed to cover them in mud and grime on Saturday night).

Following the sharks, turtles, and fish (oh my!) we met up at the movies and caught the new Adam Sandler flick (very predictable and funny). 

Definitely check it out for a laugh!

And be sure to check out Jennifer Aniston's shoes in the movie... Hot Damn they're awesome. I was experiencing shoe envy during many points of the film.

I think I have a problem.

FREE TIME, FUN TIME

Where has my free time been going lately?

Free time? When and where I do I find it in my crazy ass schedule you ask?
I know that you're asking this question, I ask myself this question often.

I'll let you in on a little secret...

In addition to being part Mexican (you know, because hot sauce runs through my veins all thanks to my birthing in the small town of Yuma, Az--all of .2 miles from the border) I am also part magician. My uncle LeRoy, twice removed, was married to one of those ladies who would get sawed in half by Harry Houdini. 

 [ This is most definitely a lie--I just wanted to be honest with you loyal readers... as for all of you first time readers, I don't feel bad leading you on right now:

Thanks to my uncle LeRoy's wife I'm part magician :) ]

Getting to the point, when I need a little extra time I just tap into my magician heritage and make the free time magically appear out of thin air. It's a pretty awesome magic trick if I may say so. When I finally get my free time to appear, I tend to find myself at places where freakishly nice, tall, and funny guys frequent. Or I just wait for them to come into the liquor store, heckle me, then agree to go out with them :)

Enter my evening with MNG, aka Mister Nice Guy... yeup, that's going to be his handle from here on out (on both da blog and on my twitter).
I made the executive decision on the nickname today.
I find it very fitting.


Last night was overall a pretty great night.
If you were following my tweets (like you should be) after 10ish you would have heard about it ;)

And to top all the great-ness off, I went to the bano and came back to flowers!
It was pretty cute and a nice gesture--just on of the many reasons he's getting dubbed MNG.

 **After I took them home and trimmed them up**

No COOTD available for this post... I actually wore the same outfit that is my current blogger ID. I was a little bit lacking in the outfit creativity... I'll try better next time :)

PHONE NUMBER FIASCOS!

So... I NEVER GIVE MY NUMBER OUT. EVER. It's just a personal thing I do not like to do. Long before the ex-bf became an ex, or even became my bf, I never liked giving my number out. It was crossing a personal boundary that I never wanted to cross.

Well two weeks ago I broke my rule. I decided to cross my personal line in the sand and do the deed. Little did I know that this would turn out to be the worst decision ever, and the best stalker story ever!

I was out in the Newark bars with S&S, the night of my homage to Top Gun, when I saw this guy in the bar whom I used to go to Towson with.
Back in my single days of living in the dorms I bumped into this cutie baseball player a few times--Let's call him RedSucks, due to his ginger hair coloring and baseball playing status. Every once in a while I would see RedSucks in my building or on campus, and once in a blue moon I would ride the elevator up with him.
Well 4ish years later I see RedSucks in the bars of Newark. What a coincidence... and how Weird! I tell the girls the story of how I have seen this guys before, and of my former college freshman girl crush on him. They finally convince me to go say hi. After an hour or so of scoping him out, and being the volunteer EVERY TIME to go get drinks for our table, I manage to bump into him and say: "Hey this might sound weird, but did you go to Towson? Because I think you might have lived in my building."
The conversation that follows... I am not proud of, oh well truthfully I am, just because I pulled it off so well and nonchalantly.

RedSucks: "Yeah I did. What building did you live in?"
Me: "Tower B."
RedSucks: "No way! I lived there. What floor did you live on?"
Me: "The 4th floor, what about you?"
RedSucks: "The 5th floor. That's so crazy."
Me: "Wow, that is crazy."
RedSucks: "So what are you doing here?
Me: "Oh, well I'm just up here visiting a friend. I live close by so I said I'd meet up with her."
RedSucks: "Where is close by?"
Me: "About 20 mins from here."
RedSucks: "No way! Me too!"

We chit-chatted a bit more about where we lived and what we were doing now--during break and post graduation. After a few mins I said I had to get back to my friends and that I'd see him around...
I returned to the table with our drinks and shared my story with the girls... who all agreed that I had to give him my number. I tell them it's against my rules... it's not my thing, yet they persist. As we go to leave the bar and head downstairs to the next bar they convince me to do it. And the little voice inside me, who adamantly dislikes and disagrees with phone number giving backs down a little and says: "Why not?!"

So I do the deed. I give him my number and say: "If you're ever in town and want to hang out give me a call sometime." RedSucks replies: "Alright. sure. See you later."
The group I'm with heads downstairs and that was that. I honestly didn't think I'd get a call or a text back, or any other type of response... but 4 days later I did.

RedSucks texts: "Hey, it's RedSucks from Kildares, a bunch of friends and I are going out to Newark tonight, do you want to come hang out?"
After a few mins I respond: "Sure, I was already planning on going up there tonight with some friends, but I can break off and meet up with you."
So we made plans to meet up later, after I got off work, at the bar below Kildares--Grottos.

10:00PM rolls around and I get into Newark. Grottos is packed so I text RedSucks and tell him I'll be upstairs at Kildares, and to text me when he is around. He gets back to me at 10:30PM and says that he is leaving his friends house...
12:00AM Comes and goes and I've heard nothing. At this point I tell myself I'm done with this guy. Truly, I'm neither mad about the situation or upset about it; honestly I'm indifferent about it... I'm just fine and dandy hanging out with my friends at the bar. Well the girls were not as okay as I was about the situation. They decided that I needed to text the guy and see where he was or what was going on... so I texted: "Are we still meeting?"
12:45AM arrives and no word. We head down to Grottos, grab a few drinks and chill. Stacey goes to the bathroom... I'm chit-chatting with Steve and his friend when out of the corner of my eye I see RedSucks! No shit! I swear.
I am just a bit annoyed and more so buzzed and not caring that I make no effort to get RedSucks attention. I don't care. His loss. Next!
Stacey comes back and I tell her what she missed. She is livid that the guy is/was there and that he never got in touch with me. "Really, I don't care" I say. She replies... "What about the bouncer guy? He was nice when we walked in, and cute too."
True, he was. He said I had a nice smile when he carded me and gave me my wristband. "Eh, why not. I'll do it. Watch my drink, I'll be back"
If those are not someones famous last words, or the last words of a girl who goes off with some stranger and gets her head lopped off by a crazy axe murderer I don't know what else they are...

I go up to bouncer guy, who will FOREVER be known as TheStalker!, and chat him up a bit. He seems really nice, down to earth, funny, but midway through the conversation, AFTER I gave him my number, I figured out that I wasn't feelin' it. There was just something itching in the back of my mind saying: "eh, nevermind, my bad."... I say see you around, he says: "I'll call you later."

(BAD SIGN!!! This is foreshadowing to some craziness if I've ever read/seen/heard it before)

We leave around 1AM, I get home around 1:30AM, he calls shortly after that. I'm in bed with a glorious buzz from the Cranberry&Vodkas and the DoubleLongIslands and almost asleep. I DO NOT ANSWER the phone. He leaves a message (of course).

The next day he calls at 7PM. I can't answer--it's my 1st day at the new job, I can't answer the phone and get bitched at or possibly fired.
1:30AM HE CALLS and leaves a message. I'm sleeping--I worked from 9AM to 9PM at the new job--I'm SLEEPING--HELLO!
I listen to the message on my way to work: "Hey it's me TheStalker!, I just thought I'd call and say hi. I guess you're a little busy. Call me back later. Bye!"
The next evening... I'm at work--7ish PM he calls again. Same story, I can't answer.
1:55AM HE CALLS AGAIN AND LEAVES A MESSAGE. Wtf? Does he not know that it's bed time?!
The message follows the gist of the last one. His voice is quite chipper and excited. Maybe my voice recording is turning him on... GOOD JESUS I hope not! "message...It's TheStalker!... message...message... okay, I'll talk to you later."
Day 3: He calls AGAIN around 7ish... he's like clockwork.

What the hell have I done?
I'll never give my number out again, this is CRAZY!!

Saturday arrives. TheStalker! hasn't called me since Thursday at 1ish AM. I'm on my ski vacation. I don't have a care in the world, other than not killing myself on the slopes. I've decided if he calls me I'm going to let one of the guys answer the phone. I'm beyond creeped out by this Stalker of a guy. I know having one of the guys answer is a complete cop-out, and is probably the RUDE-est thing ever, but I don't know what to do. I can't answer or call him back because I can't be mean to the guy. He is CLEARLY into me and he was so nice, but DAMN he is creeping me out!
I'm in the middle of my ski lesson. It's 5ish PM and he calls. He leaves a message: "Hey it's me TheStalker!. I've tried to call you a few times (YEAH RIGHT YOU LIAR--YOU'VE CALLED ME A BILLION TIMES!!!!), and I guess you are busy. (He sounds not so chipper this time--eh whatever.) Give me a call back when you get some time. I'll talk to you later."
Well, so much for my plan of getting one of the guys to answer. Dammit.

Sunday night: Saints vs. the Vikings. Around half time I work up the cajones to text TheStalker!. Is it bad that I had him programed into my phone as DO NOT ANSWER?! Nah, I didn't think so either. I text DO NO ANSWER, i.e. TheStalker!, and say: "I'm sorry that I haven't been able to answer your calls but I've been working or sleeping. I'll get in touch with you as soon as I get some free time."

What does he do?! He texts me at 1 AM and says "Ok".

Oh me-Oh my-Oh. I will never give my number out again!
What the hell!?