WORK STORIES

A drunk man who I refused to serve alcohol to me just said this to me:

"At least when I act like a frigid bitch I try not to look so constipated"

You can't make this shit up.

#liquorstoreblues

Follow me on Twitter for more fun

@AshleyCrowl

COOTD: IM A LITTLE TEA POT

That's officially my new theme song when I take COOTD pics.

The full length mirror in the hallway hates me.

It cuts off my head.

In order to take full length pics, I have to stand like I'm doing the dance to "I'm a little tea pot"

The part where you say "tip me over and pour me out"...

Yeup, that's me.

Look!:

(previous COOTDs for proof of my "Im a Little Tea Pot" poses.)

#fml

// Blazer: GAP // Dress: High School graduation dress (yeah, I said HIGH SCHOOL, suck it bitches) // 

FYI: I took a step outside and realized that it was TOO FUCKING HOT OUT to be wearing this.

End result. A skanky tank top, a cardigan and shorts...

The top will be covered by the cardigan, but for my drive TO work I try to wear as little as possible.

It is TOO HOT OUTSIDE!
#Seriously

Here is to hoping that Value City still has something along the lines of this:

Because that tall glittery masterpiece

NEEDS

to be in my bedroom or hallway.

Pronto.

If not, I guess I'll be heading over to HomeGoods for a cheapO.

:/

COOTD: #HOTMESS

#Seriously?!

 Who in the hell let me walk out of my house yesterday!?

Aside from the comical/highly flattering commute to work:

I was looking extremely rough during my shift at the store last night.

That's what I get I guess for going to the fair, hanging out in the cow pen, napping at my Aunt's house, then borrowing the Sister-Cousin's clothes because mine were covered in cow hair, slobber and other unmentionables and because I had all of 6 minutes to get in my car and on the road. Oh and for not bringing my emergency make up bag with me before I left my house at 7am.

Estupida Chica.

Rockin' the TOMS and an Old Navy dress...

Oh and excuse the disgustingly dirty mirror at work.

No matter how many times I clean it, I always come back the next day and it has been defiled again.

Seriously.

It was not pretty.

Thank GOD for the brutally honest friends that I have for telling my busted ass that I looked a sure shit #hotmess yesterday.

SHOES!

BEST PRESENT EVER!

♥

I heart my friends.

 SHOES + a Slurpee = HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Madden Girl

Limmeric (Peeptoe Bow) Pump

Look how tall  they are!!!
Oh, and they are COMFY too!

OJB you're the best!!!

You know me way too well.

THANK YOU!!!!!

OH WHAT A NIGHT

This is how I began the evening at the liquor store...

Here is hoping the end will be a little bit less event.ful

Oy.

ROOMMATE HILARITY ON A SUNDAY

From the Twitter today (while hanging with Roomie M) and shared with all you lovelies:


"AshleyCrowl: Spotted... Lonely, Neglected Weave left for dead in the mean streets of Towson. I pitty the Weave. http://t.co/6g0dI9C" --Tweety

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

My dear friend Banks has a birthday today!!!!

Lookie what he gets:

He's such a lucky guy to have such a great friend like me...

Hahaha That's such an asshole thing to say, I'm going to tell him that too!

You bet your butts.

Plus, he deserves a little razzing for his Bday, since he gives me shit everyday :P

That's what friends are for!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRIEND!!!!!!

HEY, REMEMBER...

That time that I told you I like to drive fast...

and that in a past life I was a race car driver :)

Yeah, it kind bit me in the ass tonight while on my way to work from practice.

via

Not bueno,
not bueno AT ALL.

Insert sad face, sad wallet, sad future traffic court date here.

FML.

UPS MAKES ME LAUGH

Today I inadvertently caused a UPS driver to drive past me, stop his truck in the middle of the road, reverse his truck 100ft so that he was even with my car (parked on the side of the road), and say to me: "I just had to say: You go girl".

I said thanks, he then smiled, we both laughed, and he drove away.

At first I thought he was my friend M Dab from my old school pizza making days who now drives for UPS. Then I remembered that I was in Georgia, NOT in Towson, Maryland where M Dab works. Then I thought he was going to tell me that he knew M Dab in some way and that he was saying hi from him to me, but that didn't happen either.  

He just told me "You go girl" and drove away.

After he drove away I chuckled some more. Then I said to myself: "They hire pretty fuckin' cool people to drive UPS trucks... that guy and M Dab are definitely two of them!!!!"

[Note: This is NOT the UPS guy... just a picture of one I found online.]

I have NO CLUE what caused him to stop. I had just walked from the restaurant to my car, which was parked right down the street. Maybe he liked what he saw from my walk from the front door to the car door. [har har] 

Who knows?!

All I know is I cracked up the entire 5 minute ride from work to the hair salon replaying what he said to me.

"You go girl"

ONLY IN A COLLEGE TOWN

Does something like this NOT shock me...

Welcome to Towson, Maryland.

Home of Towson University.