WHAT I'M TUNING INTO: "ALL OF THIS COULD HAVE BEEN YOURS" SHOOTER JENNINGS & HIEROPHANT

Heard this on last week's Sons of Anarchy. (A show you should watch if you don't already)

Listen and enjoy.

And then prepare to get mind fucked when the lyrics hit close to home.

Damn.

Truth.

"All of This Could Have Been Yours"

Shooter Jennings & Hierophant

Just because I like you (and this song WAYYYY TOOO MUCH for my own good).

All of This Could Have Been Yours LYRICS:

I had a cure, for your disease
but you threw it away
and you made it clear I was not welcome on these seas
and you threw it away

so I sailed and I sailed for so long
my hair grew long and my heart grew cold
I face certain death without you near

and I felt the storm and swam until the skies were clear
and I found a home along this crooked road

and all of this would have been
all of this could have been yours

all of this should have been
all of this could have been yours

black clouds roll, right over red doors
as the waves were high

so was i
and the moon never looked so angry
as when your walls came crumbling down.

It was so beautiful
It was so peaceful

All the destruction, it was quiet

all of this would have been
all of this could have been yours

all that you love, will be carried away
oh all that you love, will be carried away

all of my pain, that you put on my name
all of my doubt, and all of my shame

all of my guilt, my denial and fear
all of my hatred and all of my tears

all of the time that I couldn't go home
all of the times that I froze all alone

all of the sadness all of the lies
all of the shadows that blackened my eyes

all of the servants, who cheated, who stole
all of the colors from the depths of my soul

all of the wounded, that you left for dead
now creep in the corner, they're all in my head

all of the dreams that you made nightmares
all of the silence, deafening stares

all of the ships who can't carry loads
you wrecked in anger, along distant shores

all of this would have been
all of this could have been yours

all of this should have been
all of this could have been yours

EAT THE FOOD TINA!

So Saturday began like any other Saturday.

I woke up.

But this time I woke up in a bed--as opposed to the floor that I had been sleeping on since I moved to Georgia! I'm a big girl now! I've got a bed! Woo!

Following the somewhat uneventful wake up, I headed to the pool in the golf cart with Bonnie and the kiddies. Lucky and Nicole met us later. Around 3 o'clock I left the pool, got home, checked my voice mail and lo and be hold I had a missed call from a job!

Woop!

Good new: JOB -- Bad news: They wanted me in last minute at 5 to help them out.

Well I wasn't going to say no.

So I rushed like a mad woman, showered off my sunscreen and chlorine, did my hair and drove to the outlets to pick up clothes for work. On my way I called Banana Republic and asked if they could pull all black pants and shirts in my size. As soon as I walked in the girl at the counter asked if I was me... she could probably tell by the frantic-crazed-sweaty look on my face!

I was literally in and out of the store in 15 minutes with a new uniform for my new job. I had the BEST customer service experience of my life. It was so good that I went back today to tell the girls manager. She seemed proud. I hope the girl gets a raise or point or a better employee discount or something.

Getting back to the point:

I busted my butt at the new job, a restaurant obviously (black on black uniform), and honestly had a good time. I never realized how much I missed the crazy fast paced environment of a restaurant.

I go back tomorrow and Wednesday for serving staff and then this weekend I go back and work in the kitchen... Not bad.

I'm still working at the tire place; I'll just go in after I get off in the day time from the restaurant--ugh it's going to be 90 tomorrow.

Eff.

A GOOD TWEET

"You can choose any destination you wish for your life. So choose one that thrills you and compels you to be the best you can be."

 via the Daily Motivator at GreatDay.com

I agree with your tweet today Mr. Marston, I AGREE.


I am just hoping that the decisions that have recently been made in my life are not ones that I live to regret.

I promised myself a long time ago that I would never regret a moment of my life, and that I would only live and do the things that made me truly and ultimately happy. I live for happiness in my life. I genuinely love the feeling of being happy.
It is very scary to admit to myself that the decisions of the past few months, both ones that were made for me by others and the ones that were made by me in order to move on to better things, might not be the right decisions.

I find it very hard to not have 100% control of my future. To not know what or who will come next in my life. Very hard indeed.
To look ahead of me and see a blank--a big giant question mark--is one of the scariest thoughts/emotions/feelings. I am at a loss for words.

I do not know what is the right step and what is the wrong one.

Oh life.
What is next?

RETURNS AND REALITY CHECKS

Due to a reality check... a much deserved one (I might add), the following items have been returned.

Dress and Shoes... (Not the bag!--or the watch from earlier posts--just because I really want to keep them):

INSERT BIG SAD FACE HERE...!

I would just like to say that prior to returning, both items looked pretty damn good on me and fit like a DREAM--and those 4 inch heels were CRAZY COMFY! However, I need to WAKE UP and stop being silly with my money. Granted both were great purchases, on great sales, looked really good, and could have been worn multiple times... however the purchases were not realistically justified... I should just save the money instead, and as of tomorrow both will be shipped off and returned.

The End.


On another note, my life has been on quite a roller coaster lately on both the personal and family sides. Things might get a big fuzzy here on the blog over the next few weeks because I'll be picking up extra shifts to help my old boss out and I just need to figure my life out in general.

Thank you for everyone who has come by and left a comment, for the regular followers, and to those who just come by and check this little blog of mine out...

If I don't post for a while you know why. But I'll try my best to be present, AND to pick up with my Uh-Uh Flashback Fridays... because I've been lazy with those postings.

Chuck

Happy 2010!

It is now three days into the new year. If you have any resolutions, there is no better time than now to follow through or at least start working toward your goal(s). If you are desiring a career change, trying to rediscover yourself, trying to achieve your life dream or just looking to pamper yourself, then first take time to evaluate yourself, your current situation and what you can do to follow through with your resolution. Then, create a plan, calendar, map and/or list to help achieve your goal(s). Remember to be positive. Once you are on track, it is time to monitor your own progress, motivate yourself continually and reward yourself often. You can do anything you put your mind to if you are willing and dedicated to accomplishing your goal.

If you would like to make a StyleLife Consultation appointment, please contact me via email at cs.stylelife@yahoo.com or call me at (618) 401-1434. I look forward to working with you and to helping you achieve your StyleLife goal. :) Have a fabulous day!

THIS IS MY NEW YEAR... on crack.

Does anyone else remember the "2000" glasses that were around for Y2K and 1999 NYE?? Because I sure do. My pair glowed in the dark and were passed out during a NYE party during my middle school days in Nevada.

Between 2000 and tonight, the night before 2010, my life has definitely had some changes.

2001: I decided to leave my mother and my home in order to have the opportunity for a better life.

2005: I improved my grades, (for the first time) made amazing life-long friends, successfully graduated high school and was accepted into college.

2005-2009: I attended college, began playing rugby, made even more 'keeper' friends, fell in love, found out who my true friends were, was accepted into a new family, welcomed a new set in in-laws, decided to postpone graduate school for a 'real' job, and had my heart broken.

2010: Will bring my graduation from college (Jan. 10) and will begin the start of a new chapter in my life. One that will hopefully lead to a new career and the completion of the goals that I set for myself so long ago.



This evening I will be spending the night alone.
No parties, no more boyfriend, and no friends tonight.
Kind of lame... no, really it is lame. But I'm okay it with it. I'm going to finally sit back and truly relax. I've spend the last 8 years (since moving to Maryland) working my ass off to get this far. Tonight will be my break. Tomorrow I will begin the next part of my life and I plan on enjoying it every step of the way.

This year:
January has me graduating. Going on a ski trip (for the first time) with friends from home. Possibly going on a 2 day trip to Vegas with my cop friends or just another over night-er to Atlantic City.
February I start a new job, not a 'real job just an in-between job, close to home. Then I'm going (possibly back) to Vegas for a 4 day weekend of out of control, craziness with my rugby team for the USA 7's tournament. I'm going to catch up with the only 2 friends I've kept from NV. And I plan on having the time of my life with a bunch of amazing ladies--an enjoying the eye-candy that are sexy rugby men (haha)!
I don't know what I have in store for March, April, May, or June, but July is my Birthday and August is bringing my brother and his wife baby #2 (child #4). (I'm planning on it being a girl. It better be a girl.)
I really just hope that this year, and the years following the end of my undergraduate/college career will be good. I just want to be happy. That's all I've ever really asked for, and that's what my resolution this year will be.

I just want to be happy.

If I were on stage in a Miss America Pageant I'd wish for World Peace too.

:)

Have a Happy New Year everyone.
Be safe.

Chuck.